Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Blogs: Savers of Sanity

One thing that many nerds seem to have in common – nerds with internet access anyway (and how exactly does one become a nerd without internet access?) – is blogging. Most nerds that I know (including myself) have blogs – numerous blogs. If they don’t have blogs, they follow blogs – numerous blogs.

Obviously, this is an excellent trait if you’re running a blog and need followers. Make nerd friends and get a gathering. Networking, chit-chatting, and general blog-related merriment will ensue, creating a good time for all. While this is an excellent form of entertainment, some may wonder why it must take place over the internet.

It is my theory that should one take all the nerds that follow a blog, put them all in the same room, and leave them there to mingle, chit-chat and network like they would on the internet, there would not be enough dark, quiet corners to go around. Somehow, the internet provides security in conversation that simply isn’t present in a face-to-face encounter. Say what you may about a nerd’s social skills, but really – think about it.

Normal people would be severely threatened by the congregating and communicating of socially adept nerds – because not only would we solve world hunger, world peace and nearly any other crisis, but we would inevitably institute fashion trends, quirks and character oddities into society that normal people just couldn’t pull off. Could you imagine what would happen if awkwardness in daily conversation became the “in-thing?” Eddie Izzard’s infamous “Oy! Sue! I’ve got legs! Do you like bread?” would become the norm in societal communications, and normal people couldn’t handle it. Their natural smoothness of tongue would rebel, their cool sense of style would crumble, and they would snap.

Hence, the fact that we nerds communicate via a faceless, nameless blog format, is really a device to preserve the sanity of those poor normal people. It’s all about helping those less fortunate (or intelligent), right? Obviously, even nerds have personal connections with people, so a blog won’t always do it. However, never fear, for we have discovered a medium for just such issues.

Instant message! The text program of the gods is here to save the day. And we nerds are constantly utilizing its amazing functions (did you know you can play chess on some programs?!). Even to the point that two people can IM each other from sitting next to each other. It is my theory that eventually, the need for social skills can be completely eliminated – if only everyone had IM, shopped online and had a good blog as a medium for expressing opinions and sharing news.

Blog on!